Straight A Networking: Attendance, Attitude, Achievment - Part 1

While walking past an elementary school the other day, I noticed a big banner in front of the main doors that read "Think Straight A's: Attendance, Attitude. Achievement". I caused me to think a little more about how business networkers sometimes forget a simple principle such as this -- a principle that is being taught to elementary school children and embraced as a "basic" in the education system at all grade levels.

Many tend to view networking events and meetings with large turn-outs as being a success. Some people believe that just by showing up, they are contributing to the "success". Sure they are there but if they don't take an active role or participate in the process of learning about others, was the event truly successful and did it somehow move the participants in the direction of achievement?



While attendance at networking events and meetings is such a fundamental component to growing your business, as I previously wrote in my post, "The Reality of Networking," business people tend to want quick results without realizing or knowing that networking takes some time to first establish relationships and then cultivate those relationships in order to achieve the desired results.

But it's more than just attendance. The addition of attitude goes a long way as well in the networking process. Bob Burg, in his book Endless Referrals, Third Edition teaches us The Golden Rule of Sales & Networking:

"All things being equal, people do business with and refer business to, those that they know, like and trust."


Attitude plays such an important role in order to master Bob's "Golden Rule". Why would you want to do business with someone that is consistently miserable or makes the experience more difficult for you?

This reminds me of a situation that happened at a networking group about four years ago. I attended a networking group and I was introduced to a relatively newer member who I will call Bill. Prior to meeting him, I was told by one of the members of this group that Bill designed and built custom kitchens.

When I walked into the room, I noticed that he had a portfolio of his work out on a table and stopped to look at it. His work was so incredible and worthy of high praise that is should have been featured in home improvement magazines and on home deign TV shows.

However our introduction left me with a lasting impression. It went something like this:

Tim: "Good morning! It's nice to meet you How are you today?"
Bill: "Yeah, yeah, what's so good about it? Do you really want to know how I'm feeling?"

Tim: "Well it's a great day outside, the weather is beautiful and you're alive!"
Bill: "But there are others who didn't get up. There's a war going on, my property taxes just went up, my car broke down yesterday and this morning's coffee was cold... "
...and he continued to lament about the world's problems and issues. (To say that this was one of the more interesting introductions I've had in quite sometime would be an understatement).

After I diplomatically removed myself from speaking to him, I thought the following: 1) perhaps this is just a bad day for him, 2) this guy may need some mental help or 3) this guy is a real jerk.

I asked the person who introduced me to him if this was just an isolated event and she confided, "He's like this every week since he's been a member."

"Why would you take someone with such a negative attitude?" I asked.
"Well he was the only custom kitchen makers knocking down our door so we figured we needed him..." she said.

Months later, when it became very clear to Bill that he wasn't getting referrals, he left the group. I happened to be present at this meeting when they announced that Bill's classification was opened and without any exaggeration. there was a collective sigh of relief.

If we apply Bob Burg's Golden Rule to this situation, it was highly improbable that Bill or the group would have any form of mutual achievement based upon attitude alone. Bill's attitude presented a barrier to his networking partners. He made it impossible for them to get to know him outside of what he projected, and thus there absolutely no foundation for trust. Not only was Bill miserable but could you imagine the sense of misery he projected to those around him. Given these circumstances, why would anyone want to give him referrals?

But the group also had an issue: they had an attitude of of desperation by accepting Bill as the "only one" and believe that they "needed him". Upon closer inspection, while they were a large group of 30-35 members, they took just anyone in, without truly vetting their candidates and refused to wait for someone who would be a better fit for their group. Bill's attitude was not their only problem; because they took just anyone, there were several others who did attend meetings but did not make any sort of a positive contribution. They were attending, yet not achieving as a result of their own, as well as their group's attitude towards participation.

To the casual observer meeting this group for the first time, they would probably be turned off and would not want to participate in this group. Moreover, both Bill and the group's attitudes did not do anything to lend towards achievement and the end result was a lose-lose proposition for everyone involved.

How you project yourself to a potential customer -- let alone you networking partners -- is vital. While attendance is required, both in networking and in your business, attitude forms long-lasting impressions that, when coupled with word-of-mouth marketing, speaks volumes to others, even when you have stopped talking.

More on attitude and achievement in the next post.