Latte Listening: Now being used at a Starbucks or coffee shop near you!

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in a Starbucks, in between appointments. While checking my email, I couldn't help but eavesdrop on a few conversations that were taking place around me. The conversations ranged from someone who was just dumped by a significant other, to another person complaining about the weather. But it was the third conversation that captured my interest.

There were two women engaged in a very lively (and somewhat loud) discussion. After listening for a few moments, I deduced that one owned her own business while the other's husband was laid off from his job, last week. The business owner (I'll call her Mary), was explaining what COBRA was to her friend (I'll call her Jane) and how the costs are astronomical these days for basic health insurance. Mary was complaining to Jane that to cover her employees, under a basic health care plan, costs her in excess of $4,000.0 a month. When Jane asked if Mary's insurance carrier would issue a policy to a non-company, Mary said she "doubted it".

Jane just kept going on how they needed to coverage because of the two kids. Mary's was trying to tell Jane that the solution would eventually come about when Jane's husband got a new job. She even encouraged Jane to tell her husband to get a job at Starbucks since they offer health coverage to their employees. Jane's husband could still try to seek employment but at least the benefits would be there. Jane basically said that she could not wait that long and that her husband, would never do such a thing because "he's a professional" and "wouldn't stoop that low".

What amazes me is that these two women, just bantered about, complaining about things but yet did not have a solution-focused approach to resolving not one, but two problems: 1) coverage for Jane and her family and 2) lower premiums for Mary's company.

I couldn't help to stop by on my way out. I apologized for intruding, and explained that I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. I went on to explain that I may have a solution for the both of them. I asked if they would like to be introduced to a colleague of mine whose insurance company provided coverage at extremely competitive prices and they also covered individuals and families as a "group of 1". Jane's expression went from depressed to full of hope. Mary too was intrigued as to who this person was that may be able to help her lower her monthly costs.

I asked for their information and immediately called one of my BNI members with the referral. I put them on the phone with him so that they could schedule an appointment. They did and thanked me for my assistance.

Later that week,I heard from Jane who gave a glowing testimonial about the person I referred her to. I didn't however, hear anything from Mary. Curious, I emailed the health insurance rep and within 3 minutes of sending that email, the door bell rang.

I walked to my door to find a big fresh-fruit arrangement from the health-care rep, thanking me for the referral for both ladies. I went back and called this person and he told me that he signed up both of them and that Mary also referred him two other business owners who he was meeting with this week.

So should I be mad at Mary for not reaching out to even communicate or thank me? Probably not. I was not fully visible to her. I was just some nosy guy doing some "latte" listening while drinking coffee at Starbucks who later but into her conversation. I didn't have any visibility let alone credibility with her. (Still some should say she should have had better manners).

Looking at the bigger picture, I realize that what I call latte listening works very well -- provided of course that you do more than just listen. Growing up, our parents told us never to talk to strangers and that it was impolite to eavesdrop. As business people, we need to talk to strangers and it can be as simple as doing some "latte listening" at a local coffeehouse. (OK if you don't like lattes, substitute your favorite drink, food or activity). We are surrounded by opportunities to help people to resolve problems, and at the same time, make money for others and ourselves. It's just a matter of moving out of the comfort zone that we are in and taking action.

Don't Just Pray - Network!

We all know that the mortgage industry is having major problems these days and people are facing forclosures. Richmond County (aka Staten Island), New York faces some of the highest forclosure rates in all of New York City,

But those who are facing pre-forclosure may have a prayer -- literally. Last week the International Christian Center of Staten Island, hosted a "Pre-Forclosure Prayer Service". Now I'm not a member of their church so I didn't attend, but it did make me think about how churchs are a network whose members are many people we know but may not know us outisde of the weekly services.

We are all a part of various different networks: social, business, sport, political, religious, etc. Many people that we currently do business with have no idea of the other networks that we belong to because, we typically do not share this information. Thus, they and we miss out on a boatload of opportunites to help others.

Think about it: every major religion relied on "word of mouth" in order to expand. Yes, there were things that were written down and printed or transcribed by hand but for the masses of people living at those times, many did not have access to these books, scrolls, tablets, etc. So religion, just as most of society's knowledge, was spread orally by what can be considered "word of mouth".

When it comes to religious organizations, many people who attend services on a regular basis may be known as a parishoner or member but are not visible enough to be seen by the leaders of the church as somone who can help by offering a wealth of resources. Some people do not believe that a religious organization is a proper place to network for business. I disagree as I believe in Dr. Misner's philisophy shared in his book, Truth or Delusion that you can network anywhere, any time -- so long as you "honor the event".

Thinking about this reminded me of a story that occurred a few years ago. There was a member of a BNI chapter in my region that sold men's clothing and furnishings. As part of a casual conversation with five others, (myself included), this member explained that he was the pastor of a church. I asked how many people he preached to on a given Sunday. He answered "250-350". I asked if any of them knew what he did outside of the church. He said "a few". Then I turned to the others in the converstion and asked if they knew that their colleague was a pastor: not a single one did.

Intrigued, I went on to ask if a member of his church had a problem in their life, would they turn to him or another person in the church for consoluation and counsel. He said that happens very often. I asked, wouldn't it be a blessing to those people if he were to refer them to someone that he knew, trusted who can help them with their problems? I also asked could some of the people in his congregation could be potential customers, clients, patients, sources of referrals, vendors/suppliers or even potential members of his chapter. His answer was a resounding yes and he admitted that he never thought of it that way.

I told him I'm not expecting him to go to the pulpit to say "God wants you to buy your insurance from XYZ Insurance" but instead, to make himself and the rest of the congregation aware that there are secular resources that can help. Then, provide them with an referral and introduction to the various resources. This is in full accordance with the Giver's Gain philosophy that BNI teaches as well as The Good Book.

A few months after this conversation I ran into him. He told me that not only did he end up referring people to his fellow networking partners who needed help in a variety of different areas, but also was now being touted as an "Angel in Men's Clothing" by his fellow BNI members. In turn, he started getting more referrals for his clothing business as well.

So while I do believe that praying does indeed work to help resolve problems in our lives and to help us to achive various goals, networking also helps out in the process.