The Reality of Networking

On reality TV shows, you can find the love of your life, win a competition or even lose weight in a matter of weeks. What we see on TV is that by doing small tasks over a period of 6-8 weeks will ensure success in an aspect of you life.

However, once the contract with the producers or TV network ends, in many cases so does the success. They lose the job, they put the weight back on and their divorce ends up on the front pages of the tabloids. In many cases, they go back to square one.

Networking is different. It requires us to do more than just the minimum over an extended period of time, if we are to receive the maximum benefits from our efforts. All too often, the neophyte networker believes that they can attend networking events or groups whenever they want, hand out business cards and expect people to start doing business with them. They fool themselves into believing that they are credible in the eye es of those they meet and expect instant business to transpire.

When it doesn't happen, they convince themselves (and try to convince everyone that they meet) that that networking doesn't work and it's a waste time. They blame everyone and everything else for their impatience and thus, lack of success: it's the organization's fault, the people aren't the right ones. the economy's not doing well, the weather was bad that day, etc.

I had two recent experiences that illustrate this point.

Case #1: I was contacted by an insurance professional complaining that despite three months in his networking group, he hadn't received a single referral. When I stopped to take a look at his attendance (it was poor),l the fact that he didn't give referrals, let alone learn about others on his referral and marketing team on an individual basis, was it no wonder why he didn't get any referrals?

Meanwhile, his colleagues in the same company, who are in other networking groups are literally cleaning up and laughing all the way to the bank. Why? Because they don't ascribe to the instant-results mentality. They are doing what is required of them to build relationships with the people in their group. They are spending time, educating their marketing team to find referrals and referral sources. They are asking for key introductions to sources of referrals.

Case #2: I was contacted by someone in another area who wanted to leave their networking group because "it just wasn't working out". When I asked how long she had been in her current group she said "two weeks -- and I haven't seen a single referral yet". When asked did someone explain that this takes time and effort, this person replied, "yeah but......" and provided several excuses.

To quote Charlie Brown as he goes to kick the football: "UUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Woody Allen is quoted as saying that "90% of success in life is just showing up" -- and apparently people believe it whenever they go to mixers, trade shows and networking groups. I respectfully and strongly disagree.

The bottom line is that they either don't want to do the or don't know about the hard work that comes with building relationships. Yet, because they have been conditioned by society that they deserve instant results - something that networking doesn't afford them - and they boldly conclude that it doesn't work.

Remember, unlike reality TV, it's not just going to happen overnight to produce the desired, positive results. You need to schedule the time to attend a meeting or an event and then follow-up with the people that you meet to start laying the foundation to a relationship. It's more than just tuning in for 30 minutes to an hour, once a week.

The reality of networking is that it takes time for it to work.